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My name is Dylan Taylor, human incarnation of the burning dumpster gif, and this is my life.

I always wanted to be an X-Man. Except people and me never got along, and apparently you need social skills to run a successful team. Cue Emma Hall's party. One hot make out session with the host herself, and I can talk to objects like my pillow (who's far too invested in my love life) and my baseball bat (who was a pacifist before I got hold of him). Now there's a whole group of us with strange abilities, including super hot ice queen Dani Kim who doesn't approve of how reckless I can be. The bigger problem is a mysterious mutant causing unnatural disasters, and we're the ones who have to stop him. Except trying to make a difference makes things blow up in my face and the team's on the verge of falling apart. Can I bring them back together in time to stop the villain from taking revenge? Have I mentioned I'm not a people person? Magneto help us.