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Untold Secrets, Lost Innocence, Family Betrayal, Sex Sells

Ripple effects of being molested followed me for years. There are only so many ways a little girl can train herself to accept the horrific abuse from the hands of her dad. I came up with a few unique ways. Being choked into submission definitely stands out as one. Burying myself in my head was the best coping mechanism I came up with during the years of abuse. Except it only got worse from there. As a teenager, how do you process being raped? As a young woman, how do you handle the fear of taking a bath, wondering if a someone is going to come running into the bathroom after you? Maybe I should just ignore the fact I had experienced so much sexual abuse. What's left to focus on in my life? Well . . .

- There's being in the center of multiple family secrets.

- Reoccurring nightmares reminding me I killed the one person I knew loved me unconditionally.

- Dropped out of high school and had absolutely no self-esteem.

- Caught in the midst of a child abuse investigation when I'm not the victim.

- Buried some family, lost some friends.

- Seal that off with a few miscarriages, a couple abortions, a car accident, a remorseful stalker, and a jealous revenge-seeking ex-lover. Welcome to my life.

It just didn't seem like the pain and drama would ever end. Until I fell in love. This man was like no other man I've ever known. He loved me unconditionally. He told me every single day, even when I refused to listen. Falling in love with him saved my life. He loved me so much he gave his life for me. So, what am I willing to do in return for him? Jesus, this is for you